The Abridged Second Letter of Peter

1:1. From: Peter
To: Christians everywhere

1:2. Let the knowledge of God and Jesus give you peace.

1:3. Jesus has given us everything we need for a good life. Jesus called us because of his own kindness and goodness.

1:4. Jesus gave us these gifts so we can be divine and escape the evils of the world.

1:5-7. Focus on faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, endurance, godliness, kindess, and love.

1:8. If you have and continue to build these things, you will do great things.

1:9. But if you don't have them, it shows you've forgotten everything you were supposed to have learned.

1:10-11. So, do everything you can to make it apparent that you are chosen.
If you show these things, you'll get a warm welcome to heaven at the end of time.

1:12. That's why I'll always remind you to do more, even though I know you already doing them.

1:13-14. I don't have much longer to remind you of these things.

1:15. I will make sure you will have a way to remember these things after I've died.

1:16. We've only told you things we saw- we didn't make anything up.

1:17-18. We ourselves heard a voice from heaven when we were on that mountain with him. It did say, "Jesus is my Child, who I love very much."

1:19. This confirms what the prophets said. Pay attention to scripture like you would a light in a dark cave- until the sun rises and shines in your hearts.

1:20-21. No scripture ever happened because someone had their own opinions and ideas, but only when God speaks with the Holy Spirit.

2:1. But there have been and will be prophets who are fake. They will introduce secret lies meant to destroy you, and even deny God. They will destroy themselves.

2:2. They will fool many people, and bring a bad name to our ways.

2:3. These teachers will steal your money with the stories they've made up. They have it coming to them, though.

2:4-9. God put the angels in hell who did wrong,
God spared Noah when the world was evil,
God spared Lot when Sodom and Gomorrah were evil,
God knows how to fuck people up and save the good ones.

2:10. This is especially true for people who follow evil desires and hate authority.

2:11. These people are bold and arrogant and aren't afraid to talk bad about good spirits. Even angels don't do that.

2:12. But these people are offensive in ways they don't even understand- like wild animals.

2:13. They will be given back all the pain they've given out. They are wastes of space.

2:14. They cheat and never stop doing wrong, they take advantage of people, and are great at being greedy.

2:15-16. They are acting like Balaam, who abused his donkey and was corrected when God made it talk.

2:17. They are like empty wells. They will cursed with darkness.

2:18. They have empty speech, and appeal to people's most basic instinct and trap them.

2:19. They promise freedom, but are a slave to their own desires.

2:20-21. If they found Jesus at one point, but went back to this, then they are even worse off than before.

2:22. A dog eats it's own vomit, and a pig takes a bath in mud after being cleaned.

3:1. Dear friends, this is my second letter. I have written them as reminders to you to think good things.

3:2. Remember the words spoken by the prophets, apostles, and Jesus.

3:3. In the last days, people will come, making fun of our beliefs.

3:4. They will say, "When is this coming supposed to happen? Everything seems to still be going as normal."

3:5. But they forget that God created all of heaven and the earth from water with just a single world

3:6. And God destroyed the whole earth in a flood with the same water.

3:7. And that same word is what keeps everything standing today, waiting for the final judgment.

3:8. But don't forget- to God; a day is a thousand years, and a thousand years a day.

3:9. God is not being slow, just giving everyone time to change their ways.

3:10. But that day will come suddenly. The skies will disappear, and everything on the earth will be destroyed.

3:11-12. Since everything will destroyed and melted with an intense fire, you should be good people.

3:13. But God will build a new heaven and a new earth to be the home of good people.

3:14. If you want to look forward to this day, make peace with God.

3:15. Just like Paul said, God's patience means salvation for us.

3:16. Paul talks about stuff like this in all his letters, even though some are hard to understand and people take them the wrong way to hurt others.

3:17. So now you know all of this- be on your guard, and do not be moved.

3:18. Grow in knowledge of Jesus. Bless Jesus, now and forever. Amen.